Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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