i permit you to call me
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
