help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize