LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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