Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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