help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize