How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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