who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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