Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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