New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
