Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
