She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
