I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize