Pregnant stripper...not hot.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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