Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
