i think my mom watched the whole time
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
