I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
