she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
