so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize