Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
