at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
