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end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The cops high fived after they tackled you
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
