ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Bring me that man meat
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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