so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize