Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
are you so shy because you have an std?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
