Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
