I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
