i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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