spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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