Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
