yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just high enough for therapy.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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