this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
