i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
