Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
