Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's Friday. Sex?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
