found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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