If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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