Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
