I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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