hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
