we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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