he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
