Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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