Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
