"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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