Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
