im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Someone shattered a urinal.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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