So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize