oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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