I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
