I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
