Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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