Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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