Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
