we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
