Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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