So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
