careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
