Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You've changed since you got that strap on
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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