I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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