I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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