I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
