she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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