He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize