home. puking in laundry basket.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
