Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
