Pappa wants mamma naked
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
